“37% of the millennials who said that they are drinking less beer said they were ditching the drink because of brews’ calorie counts or because ‘beer makes me fat.’”
I would like the record to state, I am 24 years old which makes me a millennial. But, it is an undeniable fact that we suck. A lot.
Beer > Tide Pods
If there is a millennial representative, I would like to speak with him or her because we have some explaining to do. For example, wasn’t it around a month ago when it was the hip thing to eat tide pods and post videos of it on the internet? Do you know how dangerous that is?! I mean, you’d might as well eat a plate of anthrax with a side of motor oil (this comparison might be slightly exaggerated).
COME ON PEOPLE!!!
How do we go from that to saying beer has too many calories? Hey millennial’s, guess what else has too many calories…EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET THAT TASTES GOOD! It is basically a prerequisite.
Do whatever you choose millennials. Be miserable with your kale and kidney bean salads and your diet box of water. But, if you want to be happy and enjoy your short stint here, you probably will need to adjust your caloric intake.
And believe me, I know the millennial representative will say, “Lucky, why don’t you have a hard seltzer? It’s the zero calorie beer of the future.”
My official response… that is a future I want absolutely no part of. If you can find me one that doesn’t taste like dish soap, come talk to me but until then I will keep my calories and beer.
Old timers know how to live
“We are here for a good time not a long time” is one of my favorite quotes. Guess who said it…NOT A F***ING MILLENNIAL.
Grow up, grab a beer, and stop giving me this bad rap.