Yankees vs. Red Sox, Ali vs. Frazier, USA vs. Russia. Mankind does not exist without great rivalries. When it comes to beer, it is undeniable that the biggest rivalry is MillerCoors and Anheuser-Busch.
There have been MILLIONS upon millions of dollars competing to see who is the top dog. However, on 10/17/19, a shocking development was brought to light when AB accused Miller of stealing the “secret formula” for the best sellers, Bud Light and Michelob Ultra. To be more specific, Miller stole the, “precise recipes for brewing Bud Light and Michelob Ultra from February 2019,”
Now for the sake of this blog, lets say its true. Miller sent someone in through the roof, past the laser sensors and made it out of the alligator infested waters with what I assume is a 2 million year old scroll that they had to pull out of stone. If this is the case, I am left with only one question:
WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S DOMESTIC LIGHT BEER RECIPES?
I will piss many people off with this next statement..the only reason bars still carry domestic beers are for people that are too drunk to read the beer menu. Obviously I am exaggerating.. but am I? If you are watching your calories, fine drink a Michelob Ultra. If you are short on money then go with any of these BOGO from 4-7 Moday-Thursday. But you cant seriously tell me that Miller is thinking, “Damn people must be drinking that Bud Light for the exquisite taste.”
Without even thinking, I can name minimum 50 beers that I would prefer to drink before you catch me ordering a Bud Light. They are made for consuming egregious amounts liquid an in my opinion, if you have had one you have had them all.
This is basically the Left and Right Twix argument. One is chocolate then caramel the other is caramel then chocolate..or whatever it is. Again, I know people will say, “How do you write for a beer website and say this?” And to that I say fuck you.